Woman Blindy Follows SATNAV

A woman from Berkshire drove her car into a 5' deep ford, because her SATNAV told her too. With all the recent rain we've had it was a recipe for disater. As you have probably allready guessed, it didn't end well. Because the car filled with water none of the cars electrics worked and she became trapped. She came very close to winning a Darwin award. For those who don't know, they are awarded to people who manage to kill themselves because of thier own stupidity. This woman was lucky and was rescued by the Fire Brigade.

Her excuse was that her SATNAV told her it was the thing to do! Mine once told me to drive down a bridleway, by I correctly identified that the SAVNAV was wrong, applied some common sense and took a more sensible route.

She told the paper that next time she'll use a map. What, the authourities have allowed her to keep her driving license?!!!

I just hope that she doesn't use to same insurance company as me. My premiums are bad enough without stupid people making it worse.

Link to Original Article

Regards
Chris
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A Word to the Wise

I have recently rediscovered the joys of reading on the train. Often there are sections of a book that I particularly enjoy and I feel the need to share these with the world. This is the first of many installments.

My current book is "Nostradamous Ate My Hamster" by the quite brillient Robert Rankin.

A Word to the Wise

"This book contains certain passages that some readers might find deeply disturbing. Due to the questionable sanity of the authuor and the convoluted nature of the plot, it is advised that it be read at a single sitting and then hidden away on a high shelf."

Nostradamous Ate My Hamster
by Robert Rankin.

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Chris
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I Got On The Radio

I'm an avid listener of LBC, which is a London based talk radio station. Tonight they are having a live debate in front of an audience.

The question they are asking is, "Do we get the politics we deserve?"

I sent this little message in and Pertie Hoskin read it out on air!

"I suspect that we do get the politics we deserve, because only about 45% of the electorate bother to vote in elections. The whole feel of "The Westminster Muppet Show" could be very different if far more people bothered to vote !"

She even laughed at my "Westminster Mupet Show". Fame at last 8-)

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Chris
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A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

Where we live there are quite a few elderly neighbours, who we like to look out for. Our two direct neighbours who we keep a particularly close eye on. On the right there's Auntie Dott and on the left Mr Ron (think Captain Scarlet). LOL.


Auntie Dott is in her 80's and is often on the phone with requests for help. Over the years I've helped her out with many plumbing and electrical problems. Mrs P often pops round the chemist to pickup her prescriptions. She is a regular customer and often supplies us with apple pies from the ones off our tree which fall her side of the fence.

Mr Ron is a less common customer of our services, but at 92 he is a very funny and interesting chap. Oh he does love a good chat and once you've been caught, you can't escape for hours. He lives on his own now and I hate to be rude by rushing off as he doesn't see many people. I hope that when I'm his grand old age, people will have time for me.

I had a phone call from Mr Ron the other night. He had a blown nightlight that he couldn't fix and could I help? I duly popped next door to afford a quick fix, but alas, it was not to be. Although he had managed to change the bulb before I arrived but this hadn’t helped at all. The unit itself was at fault and would have to be replaced. A great time to afford an escape, but alas, this was not to be.

He kept me hanging on with several of his life stories, some of which I had heard many times before. There were some new ones though. Apparently he had worked as a manager in a munitions factory during the war. He told me how the factory was built in a sand pit in North Kent. They dug out the sand, built the factory and then replaced the sand over the top to hide it from the air. Very cleaver I thought. He went on to tell me how he was taught to dance by the Ladies on the night shift at the factory. He told me about how he played football for Millwall, Cricket for Surrey and repaired clocks and watches in his spare time. Even today he collects clocks and watches from a local charity shop. Replaces them and then takes them back. In fact, while I was there I watched him, quick as a flash open up a digital watch and change it battery. I have to say that I was mighty impressed at his speed and accuracy considering his advancing years. Even I’d struggle to keep up with his level of speed and skill.

I eventually escaped 2.5 hours after turning up to change a lamp for him. Such is life!


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Children & Sleep

We have a newly teenage Son who at times can be the archetypal "Kevin". By which I mean he can behave like the Harry Enfield character of the
same name. He can go from ridiculous highs to massive lows in the blinking of an eye. I suppose it hormones.

The other thing I notice is his sleep patterns. Of an evening he is very reluctant to go to bed. In the mornings he won't get out of bed without the aid of high explosives.

But come the weekend it's a completely different story. At the crack of damn his up & about, generally disturbing the peace for all. A "lay in"
I hear you say, there's fat chance of that.

I suspect if I asked my Mum, she'd recognise this trait from my teenage days. It's all part of the joy of being a parent I imagine.

Regards
Chris
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