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Wednesday, 25 April 2007

You’re So Vein, I Bet You Think This Blog Is About You

Mrs.P. has always had prominent veins in her legs and recently they have been giving her pain. The main problem is that she is a sales assistant for a major UK stationary chain and she spends much of her time at work standing still for extended periods.

She had to have some time off work and our Doctor referred her to a specialist. After quite a short wait, she was summoned to our local hospital for surgery to have them removed.

The appointment was set for early March this year and would be performed in the day surgery, which meant she would be home the same day. As she would be unable to walk for a few days, I’d arranged with my boss to work at home for the week so I could take care of her every need. Unfortunately, on the morning of the appointment she had a sore throat, which meant that they were not happy to operate. It was back to work for me the following day. Shame as I was looking forward to working from home.

Fast forward to yesterday and it was time to try again. We arrived at the hospital and Mrs.P. went through all sorts of interviews, questionnaire and tests to allow the medical staff to be ready for all eventualities. During the first one of these interviews we discovered that the surgeons name was Mr. Nounou. I immediately had a vision of a blue hoover doing the operation with assistance being provided by the Teletubbies.

The second interview was with the anaesthetist. When she made reference to Mr. Nounou, I had to bite my lip to stop myself laughing out loud. I decided not to accompany my Mrs.P. to the third interview, as it was with Mr. Nounou himself. I would only have made a prat of myself by making a Teletubbie joke.

I stayed with Mrs.P. until it was “Time for Tubbie Bye-byes” with the anaesthetist. At which point I went home to collect Jnr. from school and await a phone call from the Hospital.

They rang at 4:30pm to say that all was well and I could collect her an hour later. When I arrived at the hospital, as usual the car park was completely full so I had to park ½ a mile away. She wasn’t ready for collection as they still had to measure her up. They didn’t say what she was to be measured for, but we were hoping it wasn’t for her wooden box. To our relief the measurements were for a support stocking.

She was told that she MUST rest in bed for the remainder of the day, only getting up for toilet breaks. Of course she totally ignored this instruction, sat on the sofa with her leg on the coffee table and contently kept getting up to wander around. Women!


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